I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
