i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
