Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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