I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was a blind-side dick pic.