the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize