I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD