It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.