Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
no, he came in my armpit
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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