just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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