Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize