And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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