Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
