hell yes lets make some ravioli
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
