He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
