no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
