Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize