All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.