Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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(410): He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success http://tfl.nu/9mnw

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(503): View more from Oregon

We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?

(509): View more from Washington

Places.

(503): View more from Oregon

Plural? Please tell.

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(503): We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep? (509): Places. (503): Plural? Please tell. http://tfl.nu/23q8

Replies (5) Good night (2551) Bad night (468)
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(714): View more from California

So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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(714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..

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(405): I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/0ol0

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(917): View more from New York City

she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her

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(917): she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her http://tfl.nu/pixb

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(908): View more from New Jersey

it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend

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(908): it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend http://tfl.nu/ha54

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(703): View more from Virginia

Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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(703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag

Replies (5) Good night (1929) Bad night (579)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.

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(541): I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall. http://tfl.nu/64r1

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(248): View more from Michigan

He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.

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(248): He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it. http://tfl.nu/f1b3

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.

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(843): I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs. http://tfl.nu/k4hm

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(765): View more from Indiana

Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.

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(765): Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall. http://tfl.nu/m1i5

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(720): View more from Colorado

You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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(720): You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist. http://tfl.nu/dze0

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(480): View more from Arizona

He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance

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(480): He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance http://tfl.nu/vksf

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(406): View more from Montana

Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.

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(406): Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home. http://tfl.nu/eyf5

Replies (6) Good night (777) Bad night (298)
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(214): View more from Texas

This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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(214): This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family. http://tfl.nu/r35r

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