i can't believe i had my finger in that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
