I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
