wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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