I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
