Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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