Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
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I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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