I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
