I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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