Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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