yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
