i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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