Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
