the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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