And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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