you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
