Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize