walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize