There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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