Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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