Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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