end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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