Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
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