i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
