dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.