I wannas sexs uuuuu
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just high enough for therapy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.