Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
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so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
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so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night