Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
