do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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