Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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