New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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