Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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