we have officially lost it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?