moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone