Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.