I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.