I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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