Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my being single is dangerous.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We smell like vodka and hangover
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
