Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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