dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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